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I feel like some young people treat me older, which seems odd. Also, I think as people get older, the age range for dating widens. She also writes feature stories, along with the weekly dating and relationships column, "Love Essentially" for Chicago Tribune Media Group local publications. Throw a barbecue or party in which guests bring a friend that no one in the group knows.

I meet people in their 50s, who I assume are 70, but I also meet people in their 50s and I'm shocked because I thought they were in their 30s or 40s. But my chronological age is something i can't change. So, not only does a large age range, (let's say 42-57 perhaps? Alternatively, tag along with a friend the next time their office has a company picnic or function -- this is a great way to meet somebody who you know is responsible enough to hold down a career and who you can 'check out' with an acquainted friend before you agree to a date.

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There are quite a few ways to have an inexpensive date that doesn’t feel cheap.My most recent posting elicited more than a few comments, many of them predictably harshly critical of me for dating so much and being "committed to being uncommitted." I've learned some things during my over 50 dating years, and hope some of those lessons are of help to people my age -- men AND women (and yes, next column will be advice for women, as foolish as that may seem to some readers coming from such an uncommitted cad as I). I got divorced 20 years ago and after a three-year, three-state child custody battle that cost more -- financially and emotionally -- than one can imagine, I got sole custody of my then 11- and 8-year-old children. I was busy raising these fabulous kids (the best thing I've ever done) and laser-focused on that and only that. I've been married, engaged, and in a few long relationships. After all, the vast majority of men and women on these dating sites had been in long-term marriages. If you're "alone," you must be either a social pariah, (Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber), or terribly, terribly pathetic and sad and unable to maintain a relationship. Most of the critical comments zeroed in on how many dates I've had and not on the fact that I was being quite critical of men who are selfish and egotistical and not appreciative of women. For those who are interested, I wrote about it for Parents Magazine. When I finally started to date because I felt that at 16 and 13 the kids were old enough to deal with it, I put a toe in the water. That's why there's so many successful dating websites! Since then I've had one five-year relationship, and a handful of shorter ones. If that's being committed to being uncommitted, well then, I am guilty. We're supposed to admire couples that have been together, for many years. People over 50 seem to understand the need for private time, but are baffled by the concept that someone wouldn't want to be in a relationship. As a single dad, and I mean a really single dad -- no child support, no au pairs (the whole concept of which is bizarre to me, and I couldn't afford a babysitter, much less an au pair! I mentioned the numbers because if I said I've had 75 dates with 25 women over the years, the response justifiably would be, "Hey, who hasn't? ) -- I genuinely empathize with older women who feel they have being rowing the boat alone. " I like it for the same reason I have gone down many professional paths. I don't know that doing one thing for years or being with one person for years is necessarily for everyone. You can have a relationship with anyone you want and (most) people are fine with that.




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